Springtime is a Secret
by Amber Mushi
Summary: Enough with this 'tea party' bs. What the Harvest Sprites are really up to while you're working your ass off in the spring.


Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

Springtime is a Secret

Jack the farmer was looking down at Chef, the red Harvest Sprite.

"Can you help me tomorrow? It's the first day of spring, and I want to get started on my work as soon as possible," he asked.

"Sorry, budum. Spring is the time for tea parties! We have a tea party everyday in the spring! Maybe if we were better friends, we could invite you, budum," Chef replied.

"Oh, ok. No problem," Jack said blinking back tears. "It's not like we haven't known each other for two years anyways. I don't really need your help. I'm gonna go home now." He ran off bawling.

"Now that Jack is a real budum," Chef said to himself.

"Yo, budum. Did you get rid of that dumb budum?" asked Hoggy, the yellow Sprite, as Chef entered through the door.

"Yeah, budum. I took care of it," Chef answered back. "All right, guys let's start preparing for our party tomorrow."

"All right, I've been waiting for this for the longest time," said Aqua, the light blue Sprite. "Two long seasons of working for that lazy budum to get all our party supplies."

Timid, the green Sprite, said to Aqua, "I know how you feel, budum. Starting tomorrow, it's nothing but partying for the whole season."

"Let's stop talking about it, and start preparing," Staid, the blue Sprite, told his friends. "Hey Bold, wake Nappy up. That budum needs to do his shit too."

"You got it, budum," Bold, the purple Sprite answered. Bold went over to the corner where, Nappy, the orange Sprite, was currently sleeping.

"WAKE UP BUDUM!" Bold shouted in Nappy's ear. Nappy jumped up and fell down immediately after, ending up looking like a mess on the floor.

Nappy's face was beet red. "What the hell did you wake me up for, you crazy budum? It's sleeping time right now."

"Not now it isn't," Chef answered. "Tomorrow is the first day of spring. You know what that means, budum?"

Nappy's anger melted away and he smiled like a child on Christmas day. "Oh, boy. Things are gonna get crazy around here now."

"Let's work hard, bitches!" Chef shouted. All the other Sprites gave a cheer and broke out into synchronized song and dance while preparing for their party the following day.

* * *

The next day…

* * *

"WHERE MY PARTY PEOPLE AT!?"

It was the first day of spring, and for all the Sprites, it was party time at 6: AM.

"Yo budum, when the bitches gonna get here?" Hoggy asked Aqua. "I need women right now!"

"Cool it, budum. Keep it in your pants. All the sexy ladies will be arriving sooner or later," Aqua answered. "Sniff a little flour for now."

"Aight, I'm a holla at you later, budum," Hoggy said as he headed over to a table where an enormous amount of flour was stacked.

The door then flung open and dozens of giggling, scantily-clad Sprite women came flooding in the house. Seeing all the women rush in, Chef shouted for attention.

"All right, budums. I'd like to say a little something before we get this thing started. Nobody…I mean nobody's leaving this muthafuckin house for the entire spring. So enjoy yourselves. It might be the last party of your lives!" Chef shouted.

The crowd gave a thunderous roar of approval and everyone proceeded to go make fools of themselves as loud music blared through the invisible speakers.

"Hey, Hoggy, pass me a little of that flour," one of the women called.

"NO BITCH, go get your own!" Hoggy shouted back. "It's mine! All mine!" he yelled laughing maniacally.

"I think he took a little too much," the girl whispered to her friend. "Stop being so greedy. Share some of that," she said to Hoggy going after him.

In another part of the room, Timid was talking to a group of three girls. "Hey, ladies. Want to get down? Like, right now? I don't think I can contain myself anymore."

"Well, sure baby. I'm kinda feeling horny myself," one of the girls said seductively. "Right now, all I want is a big, hard c-"

"Shut up and do me. I'll show you why they call me Timid," Timid interrupted. The group of four instantly removed their clothes and proceeded to start screwing on the spot.

Bold was watching the scene with envy. "How does he do that? Three at once?! Why can't I ever get it on with three at once?" he asked himself.

Meanwhile, Staid was next to a huge stack of honey, stuffing himself. Spectators were watching to see how much more he could possibly eat.

"HEY, MOVE!" Nappy yelled. He had just consumed an entire keg of wine and was yelling at passing people for no apparent reason. "Get me more wine," he yelled to nobody in particular. "I don't want to walk a whole two inches where the next keg is.

Aqua was wandering around the room, covered in honey, pissed off. "Who's the budum who spilled all the honey?!" he screamed. "I'm gonna kill somebody!" Then he grabbed a passing Sprite and beat the crap out of him.

"I'm still pissed off!" he yelled after, walking away.

Chef was talking to a group saying, "Yeah, I know. I'm the best for organizing the biggest, baddest party in the history of Sprite tea parties. We got girls, we got flour, we got honey, we got wine. What more could you want? Did I mention that I'm the best Sprite in bed?" He continued to brag with pride about his many features which he explained that anybody would envy.

"Oh, Chef," moaned the people around him.

"I know," Chef replied smugly.

A couple hours later, Chef grabbed a microphone and spoke into it. "Attention budums and bitches. It is with my pleasure I announce that right now, the GODDESS IS IN THE HOUSE!!"

Another roar went up as giant light flashed next to the pole in the center of the room. The Harvest Goddess appeared in the light dressed in almost nothing.

"So, who wants to see this almost nothing become nothing?" she asked the crowd.

Everyone in the room cheered as the Goddess performed an erotic dance on the pole. Many members of the crowd went up to her and started licking her while she danced.

The Sprites continued to party hard for the rest of the spring, budum. Jack the farmer, meanwhile, slaved on his farm planting crops, missing harvests and losing money for the rest of the spring.

**A/N: I had this idea in the middle of the night and decided to write about it.**


End file.
